Bruno Deshayes Blog

young adult birthday

Sat, 12 May 2012 00:00:00 +1000

We are gathered here today to celebrate your 16th anniversary.

It is no mean thing to enter adulthood.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. (1 Cor 13:11 NIV)

Authorities will bestow upon you various rights at various times, like the ability to drive a vehicle on public roads, the ability to vote, the ability to earn money and pay taxes, etc...

You will also have the opportunity to find a soul mate and form a family which begs the question: How do you show respect to a young lady? Why did God create men and women with such different mindsets? It might take you an entire lifetime to answer that question properly - but don't rush. Life is an adventure. Do it one step at a time.

As your elder I must confess a bit of anxiety on my part. The world we now live is much more difficult than the world that existed when I migrated to Australia 30 years ago as a bright young adult like you, full of expectations and eager to make my mark.

As a man people in a social setting will always ask you what do you do for a living. They feel the need to find out what your profession is in order to classify you into one of their pigeonholes. Then they feel comfortable. The way you answer that question also reveals how you feel about yourself and if you are on track to reaching your goals.

You have to make the distinction between a hobby and a career. They are things which are very enjoyable but are not likely to produce any income or worse which can consume all your savings.

You also have the choice to work for yourself or to work for a boss. If you work for a boss you have to compete on the job market with scores of equally gifted individuals and who gets the nod may sometimes have nothing to do with your abilities all things being equal.

If you work for yourself it will be tough initially but you will be part of the elite who can actually generate work for themselves and provide employment for others. You will have to seek the face of God to get the marketing insight and the nous to put an enterprise on its feet. This is by far the most rewarding endeavour and only the courageous need to apply. As a young man you have a unique ability to dream with a pure mindset, unscathed by poor experiences and the sneering barbs of lazy onlookers.

Unless you develop at a young age an undivided devotion to God you will not be able to find out His calling for your life and you will wander from disappointment to disappointment until you settle for some addiction to numb the pain of failure.

But because you are my son I vouch to pray and intercede for you. This is my duty as a father.

The renaissance of the IT specialist

Sat, 05 May 2012 00:00:00 +1000

I have two friends who left the corporate world to run their own practice. As they navigate their own business through a crowded marketplace they share similar experiences.

How do you call a person who eats and breathes computers? A geek? A computer freak? A nerd? Those two friends, let's call them Paul and Fernando have in fact a lot in common. Although they do not know each other they share a similar background. Both departed the comfort of the corporate world for no fault of their own. Both had the drive to start their own business and the good fortune to find the right contacts to get them off the ground. One single reliable client is all it takes to turn you from an employee to a self-managed consultant. The trick is how you make the move from one good client (all your eggs in one basket) to a dependable clientele.

Business life is a battle and a struggle and the field of computing is no exception. Having your fingers burned in some raw deal, bidding for a tender that is not awarded or extending yourself on trust and not getting paid are things that we hear all too often. Your attitude is crucial. You can get bitter or better. It's your call. You can be all the wiser out of the experience. What doesn't kill you will strengthen you.

So what is the cream of the market as an one-man band IT consultant? Computers by and large have been the bane of humanity creating as many problems as they claim to solve. Because I started in electronics and then quickly moved to computers myself I have learned to do my own support and sharpen my skills along the way. Ah! the reward and satisfaction of being independent and being able to fix your own computer issues. For the rest of baby boomers you have to call for outside help. If Paul and Fernando happen to be within an ear-shot they can make a living out of it. My 14 year old son built his own fancy PC out of spare parts and cleans-up the viruses that spoilt his sisters's laptops.

Paul and Fernando have built-up over time an upper class clientele of people who call the "computer-fix man" whenever something screws-up. Thanks to Microsoft that happens often enough. They also do installation, training, upgrades (both hardware and software). They can advise on the latest technologies (remember they are geeks) and tell you what's the latest smart thing to buy.

So if you have computer issues, who you gonna call? Try Mobilan (Fernando) or Remektek (Paul). You will be in good hands (they are friends of mine!)

One-man band better than a conglomerate?

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 00:00:00 +1000

In business size matters. You've heard the phrase "When our legal team has talked with your legal team we will release our proposal". In other words those guys are spending their time looking for everything that can go wrong. When you focus on something you will eventually find it.

Enters a new dimension in business ethics: trust. Do you realise than in the old days people would perform a real-estate transaction on a handshake? Without going to this extreme the case has to be made that trust and loyalty today are in short supply. Those who can demonstrate these values will gain a lot of kudos.

So how do you establish your credentials with people who don't know you? Simple, let someone else do the talking. Referral business leads are the best form of advertising. Satisfied customers will brag about their purchase with the people they know.

The problem is that people don't take the time to get to know those they want to do business with. It's kind of hard to have a business lunch with a business partner when you are about to subcontract a job across the internet. Would you talk to them on Skype? Would you check out their Facebook page, their blog, follow them on Twitter?

Dealing with an individual has always been and always will be. They are scores of consultants who once cruised the corporate corridors and are now doing fine for themselves - thank you very much.

Dealing with an individual cuts to the chase with poor communication. Since you are dealing with one person you only need to tell your story once and can spend more time putting emphasis where it counts. Since communication is a two way street you can afford to hear out just one person rather than being drowned in corporate cacophony.

At the end of the day you will have made a new friend - not just some business contact but someone who knows you, who understands you and who has done something worthwhile for you. Someone you can trust.

Sardines & Banana Sandwich

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 00:00:00 +1000

I am sure you are salivating at the thought of devouring such a treat! Yet the fad in nouvelle cuisine is taking us into unfamiliar paths. It's all in the mind of the beholder.

Tastes, the way you dress, the music you like, etc... are the things that differentiate us. Life would be quite boring if we all came out of the same mould.

In terms of food you have to be mindful of foreign tastes. Spicy dishes have gained some appeal maybe for the wrong reasons. During the war a copious amount of pepper was used to hide the taste of some unfamiliar meat served to famished folks.

Unknowingly they might have eaten the neighbour's cat, dog, rabbit or just a fat rat, possum or squirrel who ran astray past the back of the kitchen. With strong spices you can't differentiate mutton from goat or venison from kangaroo, pigeon from chicken or donkey from camel.

If you are going out in some unchartered suburb here are a few pointers to check: Visit the bathroom before sitting at a table. The care and cleanliness of the restroom is akin to the care and cleanliness of the kitchen. It's even likely the same person cleans both. Before dropping your guests at the entrance check out the back access of the restaurant. A pile of empty tins of dog food at the rear of a Chinese restaurant might be a telltale of what's really on the menu.

Some foreign restaurants can't really explain what you are eating so the menu is just a list of numbers. We'll have number 5 for entree, number 27 for main course and number 33 for dessert. Other establishments display colour photographs of the dishes you can order.

The term restaurant should only be applied to outlets where you sit down at a table and use cutlery to bring the food to your mouth. If you feast on something out of a styrofoam container or out of a paper wrapper it should be called an eatery.

Restaurants don't just cater to empty stomachs though. The appeal of course is to provide an attractive ambience to entertain your guests when you can't be bothered to prepare a meal for them at home. The fact though is that you learn so much more about somebody by visiting them in their own environment than by meeting them in a public place. A young man may never get to sample the culinary skills of a would-be bride before he proposes to her - a classic mistake especially if you come from two different cultures.

Parviz commented:
That was good!

Cyberspace investigations

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 00:00:00 +1000

Do not believe everything you see on the net. Yet at the same time journalists spend more time than ever trying to identify the latest trends and report on it. Organised crime constantly looks for loopholes in corporate and government security. Detectives match profiles on social media and elsewhere to follow the trail of their target.

Recently police have nabbed some rather nasty rings of child pornography. This only came about through international coordination of law enforcement to make it an offence to hold such material.

Russian Business Network (RBN) was registered as an internet site in 2006. Initially, much of its activity was legitimate. But apparently the founders soon discovered that it was more profitable to host illegitimate activities and started hiring its services to criminals. The RBN has been described by VeriSign as "the baddest of the bad". It offers web hosting services and internet access to all kinds of criminal and objectionable activities, with individual activities earning up to $150 million in one year. It specialized in and in some cases monopolized personal identity theft for resale. It is the originator of MPack and an alleged operator of the Storm botnet.

The internet is rife with snake-oil remedies to cure everything from obesity to cancer but thankfully you can trawl your search term to correlate information from other sources. Wikipedia is a good source to look at because it is updated by so many contributors.

In the past investigative work involved a trip to the library and a copious number of phone calls. Today everything is available at the click of the mouse. Yet we are no better off because we are swamped by an information overload.

A good way to manage this challenge is to subscribe to RSS feeds. Instead of visiting at random your favourite informative websites the RSS will simply tell you who out of all the sites you monitor has something new to read.

Another method is to benefit from the research of other people who have the same fields of interest as you have. You can follow them on Twitter and filter the streams through hashtags.

Politicians are ever so scrutinized for the next gaffe. Political parties have their own intelligence arm to spy on the opposite side of parliament hoping someone might inadvertently fall on their sword.

WikiLeaks is an Australian made international organization that publishes anonymous submissions and leaks of otherwise unavailable documents while preserving the anonymity of sources. Its website, launched in 2006, is run by The Sunshine Press. Within a year of its launch, the site claimed a database that had grown to more than 1.2 million documents.

Fabric of society falling apart

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 00:00:00 +1000

A concerted attack on the family will result in a degenerate civilisation. The best way to alienate people is to break up the family unit. Just glance at the North Korean regime to see everyone evenly disenfranchised as a child of the state.

Today the only people to make a fuss about getting married are homosexuals and catholic priests while everybody else either lives in a de-facto relationship or is busy filing for divorce...

The benefits of the family and the institution of marriage are many:

Social skills learned in a small group doing life together can be readily leveraged in the broader community.

Being exposed throughout childhood to an adult role model of each sex results in a well balanced personality.

Having to contend, compete, fight and play with siblings in an environment controlled by mum and dad is the ordained way to move through the early years of life.

Young adults, by making a life-long commitment to each other through their marriage vows provide the peace, trust and love that infants need to experience.

As you raise children together you learn about loyalty, commitment, unselfishness and many other moral traits in very short supply in our society.

Young men become really men when they rise to the challenge of being bread-winners. They are being bestowed with the responsibility of the welfare of this tiny bundle of life.

Deep down barren women pine away at the passing of their child-bearing years no matter the appeal of corporate life might be.

It takes the diversity and the mindset of both sexes to face up to the challenges building up a family brings.

Today we see a whole generation coming up who has been tarnished with experiences of broken homes, broken trust, broken hopes... no wonder the suicide rate is so high.

Today we see grandparents being alienated from their grandchildren and we go around clamouring about the high cost of childcare. The answer is right under our nose if extended families were held together and housing was spacious and affordable.

The birth rate is so low that in some twenty years our civilisation as we know it will become extinct. The government is acutely aware of the problem and their thinking is to allow a massive influx of immigration. This is fraught with danger as racial tension will escalate because newcomers need at least one generation to be assimilated in the fabric of society.

Tanya commented:
Amen!

Poatina Report Card

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +1100

I set myself a period of 3 months to achieve something in Poatina and now time is up. (see previous article)

The moment I arrived here I had an unease about the place. The neglect and poor maintenance of the buildings and facilities was a telling sign of a deeper problem. Poatina is at a crossroad. It will continue to die its slow and painful natural death as a rehabilitation colony and arts centre or it will be hit by a sovereign move of God in a way that only the Lord will get the glory.

The most lacking thing in this place is a good cash cow business to allow people to make a few quids for themselves. How can you be a blessing to others if you are not blessed yourself? But Poatina lacks an enterprising spirit. Sure Tasmania is the worst Australian state for unemployment. There is a brain drain of the local youth migrating to the continent for a brighter future. Poatina is very good at one thing: applying for all sorts of government grants. But it has two drawbacks: it creates a welfare mentality and if you feed off the hand of some government department you run the risk of getting your funding cut-off at the next election.

You can't fix people who do not want your help. Half of Poatina's problems are of her own making. You cannot distinguish Fusion from Poatina. Fusion is the Christian organisation who bought for a song the Poatina village in the 1990s from Tasmanian Hydro Electricity. They setup their own body corporate with its own by-laws making the place a drugs and alcohol free zone. That was perfect in the heydays of Fusion charismatic leader Mal Garvin. Today it is a sting in the tail. People cannot buy or sell property here as it is a closed market where newcomers are subject to screening and the motel cannot serve you wine with your meal. You are not permitted to bring your own either. This makes it difficult to promote the motel as a tourism stop for fly-fishing. Instead of handling things over to the local council the body corporate has to take care of running its own sewerage treatment plant and garbage collection. That was manageable with a population of 350 residents. Now being down to less than 100 it is pushing on the friendship with monthly working bees and rosters to keep the place alive. There is also an issue with most building having asbestos roofs and even asbestos wall lining.

Poatina is a Christian community by name only. Most people go off on Sundays to worship at the local churches in the towns nearby. The result is that there is no pastoral care, prayer group or bible study apart from the specific courses for those in rehabilitation. There is a notion that Fusion is not a church and should not conduct religious services in Poatina. This is the perfect strategy for the devil to cut down any spiritual life and growth in the place. Most Fusion people come from an evangelical background and have no concept of moving in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. There is no desire for divine healing. There is no notion of seeking God's face through corporate prayer and fasting. There is no inclination to prophesy the will of God into one's circumstances.

The best thing for young adults in the process of rebuilding their lives is to walk out of Poatina with a trade. In the past you could do a qualification as a mechanic or in hospitality. Today both the garage and the motel are loss making businesses artificially propped up by volunteer labour. Instead of a trade they are being trained as social workers - having to deal again with people from the toxic environment they escaped from. Not really a glowing future when you need some hope. The golf course has been leased to a nearby club and maybe this could be the solution for other things. If the Poatinians do not have the drive and the marketing skills to bring prosperity into town maybe selling off to another entity could bring some life back in the place.

There is a core group of die-hard Fusion folks who oppose any change hoping that the next round of funding will revive them. In the past many people came with their own trade and left without passing the baton to someone else to take over. Some are dreaming of the good olds days when Poatina had its own baker and its own butcher. Today the general store has stopped supplying fresh produce and is closed half of the time. With transport people are better off doing their shopping in Launceston.

This is the perfect setup for a revival don't you think? Jesus waited four days to attend to Lazarus to maximize the impact of raising someone from the dead. Poatina for all intends and purposes is - dare I say it - dead.

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." (2 Chr 7:14 NIV)

Robert Walker commented:
Bruno, Thanks so much for your blogs. I think you are spot on regarding 2 Chronicls 7:14 to turn a place like Poatina and for that matter all of Australia around. Thanks for your blogs. Robert

Farming body parts and more

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +1100

The flow on effect of stem cell research is that right now you can use spray-on skin graft for burn victims. You can also grow mice teeth in a petri dish. It is not a matter of "if" but a matter of "when". Dr Who encounter with a warlord machine driven by the brain of a pig is not too far away. Welcome to your brave new world!

Should we welcome such technological breakthroughs with open arms or with a grain of salt? What does the overall political and economical landscape tell you?

Western democracies cannot even balance their budget. Healthcare is an ever deeper financial hole. People contract staph infections in our hospitals instead of coming home healed.

The jury is still out on genetically modified crops. The only people who seem to make money out of it are the lawyers who battle it out on behalf of those who want to establish their intellectual property. All they do is interfere with the design of creation.

The human genome project is public domain but the research made from it is passed to the private sector. After Silicon Valley the gold rush for IPOs is now biotech.

If you could trust mankind to govern the world with equity such inroads of science would abide well. What we see instead is an innate push to lower standards. Many unemployed security agents of the former Soviet Union have recycled themselves into organised crime. Even something as mundane as email spam is a curse that cripples internet communication.

We live in a season of extremes. Some would have you believe that it is commendable for same sex couples to marry. Their hope is that in-vitro fertilisation will give them access to human embryos they can pick and choose for themselves - like children on demand. Would you like to be born in a family like that?

It seems there is no limit to what people can achieve if they put their mind to it. People already worship science as the proof that mankind will be self-sufficient.

Right now what I would need is a money tree. Every week it would grow ten 100 dollar bills. Surely the DNA of such a plant wouldn't be too hard to synthetise!

Can't you see there is an undercurrent to enslave people rather than setting them free? The culmination of this movement will be when some charismatic figure will rise to power and claim to solve all the world problems - at the cost of you forfeiting your soul to him.

Obviously I have read the last chapter of the book so I know how the story ends.

Your privacy out the window

Sat, 17 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +1100

Do you realise there isn't a safe place in a shopping mall or public lobby where you can pick your nose with impunity? Surveillance cameras everywhere!

No wonder sunglasses sales are up even in winter. Some obscene folks have been dismissed on the spot for installing unauthorised cameras in the ladies toilets. But think of those who didn't get caught and replay to themselves their choice video-clips. What can a security guard do to escape the boredom of the job? Unless she is female...

You can now buy a video camera in the shape of a fountain pen. It is being promoted for evidence gathering to realtors, police officers, counsellors, negotiators, etc... Just like your phone calls are being recorded by every call centre "for training purposes..." it seems everybody with a litigation mindset is investing in Get Smart technology to spy on you.

Then again why would you need to panic? Just like photographs can be retouched, video clips can be edited to modify the soundtrack and make you say words you never uttered. It won't be long before those technological breakthroughs will make such evidence in court inconsequential at best.

People don't trust each other (I wonder why...) and Big Brother is watching everywhere. People are ignoring their neighbours and call for a housesitter to mind their home while they're away. You can setup a webcam in your home and monitor it on your mobile phone to check if pussy finished her sardines and onions. I am sure some hard pressed parents have used the technology to save on childcare. But what is OK for a cat is abuse for an infant. Then again better some child monitoring that nothing at all...

Do you know there is a new discipline in computing called forensic analysis which can spot what you looked for on search engines even without having access to your computer? Marketers have been clamouring for this since everything has to be converted to metrics in order to improve the bottom line and gain market share.

We live in a connected world and we leave our fingerprints wherever we go. Not everything is negative There are applications to check your reach in social media. We know head hunters, HR folks at your work and other anonymous entities are checking your posts if you happen to be the interest of the day.

There used to be a sign in my supermarket: "Smile, you're on camera". They didn't say by how much this tactic reduced shoplifting but my buddy at spynet installations is hiring new apprentices... If spying creates employment then surely it must be good for the economy.

How not to take offence

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +1100

Forgive and let go. Opportunities abound for us to get ticked off at what someone else does. Does that mean you have to let everyone trample all over you just to have peace? Obviously that wouldn't be peace...

Yet we are called to love our enemies. Ouch! That's a hard ask... It's only possible if you are totally assured of your identity in Christ. Remember He wants to be your burden bearer. Whatever you can't handle just pass it over to Him...

Well said preacher - let me step on your foot and see if you scream or squirm in pain... Yet as you mature spiritually you find that your tolerance level rises. You are able to put up with more imbeciles than before. In fact they are not imbeciles at all - they are precious in God's sight - they just don't know it yet. Why don't you tell them?

So you've made your point and they still laugh their head off. Forgive and let go. You have done what you could.

There is ingrained in us a call for justice - a desire to put wrongs right. Things always start in your own backyard. We have an authority to exercise. How you use that authority will determine if you will be granted more.

Are there people who feel wronged by you? Is it worth apologizing to them? What would be the best approach? Can a relationship be restored? What is the value of a new friend to you?

People do things that are careless, irresponsible, selfish, dangerous, plain stupid. But there is always a tomorrow... The past is the past and you can't go back and fix it. There is one thing though you have control over: Will you let that offense spoil your future? How can you move on from the issue? The perpetrator is probably oblivious to it all but you are the one bound by anger, bitterness and distrust. Well this is the deal: As you forgive others, God will forgive you. Now that's a tall order. You realise the economy of forgiveness goes around full circle.

As you cotton on with God you realise His character will ooze out of you. They are things you don't know about the offending party. What you know though is that God knows everything. In the light of eternity He has a perfect answer for every problem you face. You created a few problems of your own if you're honest. He can fix your broken pieces. Will you let Him?

There is a smell in the air...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +1100

Some impending technological breakthrough has just come to my attention. After 3D movies the major studios are just about to release scented movies.

The recording and digitization of odors is based on a DDO (dynamic dilution olfactometer) feeding into a chemotopic map similar to the one we have in the brain.

The magnitude, flavour and duration of the smells are then played back through special transducers which release the aroma into the surrounding air just like a loudspeaker vibrates the air around you.

Think of the possibilities. For a Western movie you could smell the gun powder when shots are fired, the aroma of a stew cooking on a coal fire or the perfume the starlet is wearing for a close-up.

Many industries are lining up to take advantage of the technology. Now you can buy cheese, wine, perfume by mail-order.

Sanitation systems can be programmed to counter-balance your exact flatulence to clear the air whether you just ate baked beans or mashed potatoes.

Marketers are attracted in droves to this sweet smell of success for the market is huge. Even the army is considering it for psychological warfare where the enemy would be overcome with the pungent smell of rotten eggs or else.

Doctors could use the technology to diagnose stomach ulcers or rotten teeth. Lovers could email each other their body odor aka scent of a woman.

Cooking recipes videos could explain precisely how to saute onions to perfection.

Law enforcement agencies can calibrate their breath analysers to screen offenders who go past legal limits.

What about cost? Would such a system be a bit on the nose? After USB flash drives disguised as novelty earrings women will love to wear an ODD (olfactory digital dispenser) and dial a different perfume for different times of the day. The perfume bottle will never go dry but admittedly the batteries will go flat unless you recharge overnight. We are already used to that for our mobile phones. It is a given.

Tobacco addiction could take a turn for the better as smokers could enjoy the smell of tobacco without inhaling the fumes. Just like people wearing earphones to avoid disturbing others in a crowd you can wear a PSD (personal smell dispenser) to sniff glue, cannabis or your favourite drug - undisturbed.

No doubt some portals will allow you to download your scented ecstasy - for a price. Yet again, what would disillusioned folks do to numb their boredom?

For me I write science fiction for a living and if I got you baited until now, then my writing style works.

Transmuting matters

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +1100

People thought the fax machine was dead - well it has had a rebirth!

Some enterprising geek replaced the scanning part of a fax machine with a huge funnel the size of a toilet bowl. Instead of transmitting images the idea was to transmit real objects.

Think of the possibilities - with internet commerce on a steady rise courier companies have never been so busy shifting parcels around the globe. The market is huge.

After successfully transmitting everything from paper clips to a live mouse, our engineer became ready for a bold experiment.

He decided to transport himself through the phone lines as the utmost demonstration of his craftsmanship.

His left foot had already appeared at the other end when suddenly a power surge or other mishap jammed the machine. He pressed the reverse button to return his foot back to home base. When that didn't work he tried to insert his right hand to bring it back. Unfortunately that didn't work either.

He had to be amputated and the left foot and right hand shipped back to him in a courier bag full of ice to attempt surgical reconnection.

To add misfortune to injury his health insurance didn't cover such procedures and it cost him an arm and a leg.

Authorities are concerned about such developments. Crime syndicates could smuggle drugs incognito - just as law enforcement agencies were getting the upper hand.

But think of the implications for a moment: if this technology was plugged into a mobile phone you could have in-driving refuelling. Just transmit a container of gasoline and top-up the tank without even having to stop...

Better still. You don't need your car to go to work. Just dial your office transmutter and you show up at your cubicle in a split second.

People have been toying with this "Beam me up Scotty" idea since the days of Spok and no doubt one day someone will succeed. It is definitively a mind over matter subject.

Witchcraft will teach you about astro travel at the cost of forfeiting your soul but didn't you know that travelling in time and space is found in the Bible? Jesus himself visited the disciples after his death and resurrection by being translated from Emmaus to the room where they were huddling together with the doors locked for fear of the Jews. The apostle Philip departed from the eunuch he just baptized to reappear in Azotus.

No doubt as we are nearing the End Times the Holy Spirit will empower Christians to do likewise as the need arises but they will have to spend a heck of a time in the presence of God to receive that anointing.

Love your neighbour as yourself

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +1100

The Ten Commandments are wrapped up in this one simple rule but why is it such tall order for most of us?

So put yourself at the receiving end and ponder: "Do to others as you would like it done onto you."

When you greet somebody and matter-of-factly say "How are you?" do you actually wait to hear the answer - and furthermore are you prepared to listen to any concern the person might express?

Someone had the nerve to ask Jesus "And who is my neighbour?" and so came the parable of the Good Samaritan. So in short your neighbour (the person you need to care about as much as you care about yourself) is anybody who crosses your path...

Ouch! How do we fall short of that... yet that would be the number one reason for the moral decay in our society.

Observe a mother. How she is tuned-in to the cries of her child. Even before the infant is able to verbalize anything she knows by the intonation if the problem is hunger, discomfort, lack of sleep or the sheer need for physical contact.

"How to win friends and influence people" the bestseller from Dale Carnegie has become a de-facto must-read for every aspiring network marketing distributor. Unfortunately if it is done with selfish motives it falls flat onto the ground because people are suspicious as to why a total stranger would suddenly be nice to them...

"Love your neighbour as yourself" has been replaced with "What's in it for me?"
No wonder we are not cutting it as social animals... So checkout this little score card and see how you rate and where there might be room for improvement:

When is the last time you called a taxi to take home safely a drunken person?

When did you last take the time to get acquainted with somebody over a cup of coffee?

When did you last entertain strangers in your home?

Is the spare room in your house kept tidy to offer shelter for somebody coming to town or is it filled with junk?

When did you last pick the tab for a relative's medical expenses?

Do you know the people next door by first names and have you sneakily figured out the date on which to wish them a happy birthday?

Do you offer to share a ride downtown from the airport with other passengers or do you storm the first cab and take off?

As a matter of courtesy do you offer to share some of your food with the one sitting next to you on a park bench, at the library or in public transport?

Do you engage in conversation with strangers from the country who would address anybody they meet in the train or the elevator - or do you give them a blank stare to signal they have broken a social taboo in the big cities?

Do you carry in your pocket some meal vouchers to hand out to a homeless beggar? (rather than giving out cash which would be promptly converted into drugs or alcohol)

Women naturally compliment each other on their attire - men would come across as sissy if they did the same - but everyone can seek eye-contact with someone who is looking down and give a word of encouragement.

I think you get the gist now. Start the day asking yourself: "Who's day will I have a chance to brighten today?" As you practice this you will get such buzz out of putting a smile on the face of the downcast and you will open heaven's gates to empower you to do even more.

What is emotional abuse?

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +1100

Emotional abuse is a powerplay for the control of your mind. It does not come from someone who is a stranger rather that control uses an existing relationship to manipulate you - let it be a parent/child, husband/wife or boss/employee relationship.

The abuse operates because you cannot easily break out from the relationship. It takes hold over a period of time through repetition. The scars remain long after the abuse has stopped (ie - you take that hurt with you into adulthood).

The manipulation operates through words, through actions or through neglect. The abuser is often a victim of abuse and repeats the pattern of behaviour learned from the past generation. To the offender, manipulating you is a way to prop up their low self-esteem and their un-fulfilled life at your expense. What should be a win-win situation is now a lose-lose situation.

Through words spoken the abuse is things like: being always right, judging you, calling you names, making fun of you, lecturing you, reminding you of every detail of your past and lastly isolating you through complete silence.

Through actions the abuse can be a perfectly regimented lifestyle, threats and outbursts of anger, opposite swings of mood taking you by surprise, a perfect personality in public and an outrageous character at home, favouritism towards your siblings, finally chores or responsibilities a child should not bear.

Through neglect the abuser treats you like you do not exist, or is physically missing from the house or cuts out all emotional interaction.

Emotional abuse is an attack on your identity as a person. It prevents you from intimacy. It can be the root cause of anger and depression (which is really anger directed inwards). As you are unable to express yourself, take risks in relationships and enjoy life you become self centered and tend to magnify your problems. In turn you are likely to dish out the same abuse you have suffered.

So what is the way to break the vicious circle of abuse? Well, there is someone who knows you very well and loves you very much. Once your relationship with Him is restored then your relationship with yourself will fall into place and your relationship with others will blossom. So who is that person? Well you know Him already but I guess you need to have a second look.

Maximise5 commented:
Sounds very much like my last girlfriend.

Neuro-linguistic programming exposed

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +1100

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a cover-up for self-hypnosis and should be exposed for what it is.

Hypnosis has been used as a method of mental, emotional, behavioural, and physical healing for hundreds and even thousands of years.Witchdoctors, Sufi practitioners, shamans, Hindus, Buddhists, and yogis have practiced hypnosis, and now medical doctors, dentists, psychotherapists, and others have joined them. From witchdoctors to medical doctors and from past to present, the rituals and results have been reproduced, revised, and repeated. The hypnotic trance begins by focusing a person's attention and produces many results. According to its advocates, the practice of hypnotism may alter behaviour in such a way as to change habits; stimulate the mind to recall forgotten events and information; enable a person to overcome shyness, fears, and depression; cure maladies such as asthma and hay fever; improve a person's sex life; and remove pain.

Self-hypnosis abounds in rock music, self-help tapes and other "claim it and you have it" business motivation trainings.

Some life-coach practitioners peddle the method under various guises to cultivate a captive market. As a consumer you know how to start but you are in the dark as to when and how it is going to end.

Psychology Today published an article titled "Hypnosis may be hazardous," which says: A teenage girl with no history of psychological problems was hypnotized on stage as part of a show. Soon after leaving with her friends, she apparently re-entered the trance. No one could rouse her. She had to be hospitalized and fed intravenously, and took months to recover. (source hypnosis ebook)

We live in a spiritual world whether you acknowledge it or not. If you seek after some magic powers you may get some early results but at what price?

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? These are the words of Jesus Christ recorded in the gospel of Mark (8:36 NIV). Obviously if you are reading this you may have kept the best for last. Do yourself a favour - don't settle for substitutes - go for the real thing. Check out Witness 4 Christ.

Remember to laugh - it's good for you

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 00:00:00 +1100

What does the wife of a public relation expert say when she cannot sleep at night? "Tell me again darling, just what is it that you do for a living?"

Of course Michael Jackson is alive... I just heard him sing on the radio..

I have been consolidating all my debts. Now each month I just have one bill I cannot pay.

Hey I will be a father in August. I just don't know how to tell my wife.

A PR consultant wants to impress his first client coming to his office by saying on the phone to someone else: "We are so successful I just won't be able to start on your campaign straight away..." then he turns to a young man who walked in the office and asks "What can I do for you?" the young man says "Nothing I'm just here to hook-up your phone!"

Fat? He is so fat when he travels by train he has to buy two tickets.

Fat? He is so fat he bought himself a car with the steering wheel in the middle of the dashboard.

My wife likes fiction rather than non-fiction. So I never tell her the truth.

I really have to acknowledge this about my wife: whenever she's right, she's the first one to admit it.

A tree surgeon recently opened a branch in our neighborhood. The local paper says: "... injured himself critically after falling out of one of his patients."

I was an only child - I learned to play hide and seek with myself.

I'm a free spirit. I have no hang-ups whatsoever!
This explains why my clothes are always on the floor.

Ugly? She's so ugly her licence mentions she can only drive at night.

I was so drunk I fell asleep precisely when my head hit the accelerator.

My wife sometimes runs a garage sale so we can meet with people of similar appalling taste.

Passionate? You can tell how passionate she feels by how she digs her fingernails into my wallet.

The tax system is odd. You pay tax in 2010 on money you earned in 2009... and spent in 2008.

Another thoughtful and inspiring mother's day gift: the ride-on vacuum cleaner.

Poverty: I started out with nothing and I've got most of it left.

Blessed are those who aim for nothing for they shall not be disappointed.

Being caught in traffic: entering a roundabout only to find out all exits have a wrong way sign.

Life with the Poatinians

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 00:00:00 +1100

Photo Gallery

Poatina, 70km from Launceston, Tasmania was built in the 1960's to house the labour force building the hydro electric scheme of the Great Lake. With the advent of automation the hydro power station is now monitored remotely from Hobart and only a skeleton staff remains on site. The Fusion Christian organisation was able to buy the whole village complete with a general store, a motel, a service station, primary and secondary schools, an oval, a golf course, a swimming pool and a community hall.

Poatina is the hub of Fusion with regular seminars, a radio station, TAFE accredited social work courses and an office overseeing missions overseas.

Poatina is run as a strata title rather than being an open real-estate market. Bar a few, all the people here are involved with Fusion. The organisation had a major setback in 2009 when its charismatic leader Mal Garvin fell from grace in a case of sexual indiscretion with a young woman he was ministering to. He admitted his guilt and resigned. Three years on, the organisation changed its structure with a CEO and a board of directors. Poatina is searching for a new identity. Some key people left either to the overseas mission field or out of a sense of betrayal.

There are 2 new buildings in the town. A new library for the school and an aircraft hangar acquired and erected to house a new tourist attraction: a glass blowing studio.

There is no courthouse, no lawyer, no constable, no pub, no liquor outlet, no drugs. The only offenders are the large possums who turn you garbage bin upside down during the night and pooh everywhere on the lawns. A fly invades your house the moment you leave your door ajar but they don't bother you when you are outside. The weather can change in an instant. You may head off with T-shirt and thongs and a sun hat and return drenched and shivering after a howling wind dumps a surprise shower.

I arrived in early January 2012 as a volunteer and helped as a kitchen hand during the 'Faith And The Arts Festival'. Even the simplest things require you to use your brains as I found out when my task was to peel the shell of some 100 hard boiled eggs. After 20 eggs the skin of my left thumb was red and sore. I developed a technique to roll the egg on the table bench to make many small cracks along the middle and then peeling the egg under water like an orange.

My task is to come up with ways to put the Poatina Chalet Motel and Restaurant back on the tourist map. I took photos of all the rooms and cabins and uploaded them onto a booking website

This week I served fuel at the service station which doubles as a bank since it is the only place in town with an ATM. There again I was on my own fumbling on how to replace the roll of paper so that we could continue issuing receipts. There is no longer a mechanic on duty. But he suddenly appeared back from Canberra with his wife who teaches at the next conference. He was quick to reopen the work bay and hoisted on the lift a 'Thomas Tank Engine' with a petrol engine. It was to be maintained for the Australia Day parade and is featured on the Google Maps Street View.

I hardly have time to scratch myself but I managed to do some sightseeing last Saturday and visit a church in Launceston on Sunday.

The dining room looks more like a canteen than a restaurant and passing tourists would be forgiven to think they landed in the midst of some grand church retreat. The people you meet are affable and easy to talk to. Most of them are from an open brethren, church of Christ, evangelical background but I also found an ex Christian Outreach Centre pastor from Western Australia.

Well, time to sign off now as I am heading for the Foundation Course - the one week long intensive Fusion discipleship program.
(see follow-on article)

Paul Szilard commented:
Thanks for the great newsletter. You really do have a 1st class writing style. I think you should compile some of your articles into a book. The description of your new environment is interesting, so keep doing further updates. Cheers, Paul Szilard

Terry Khor commented:
What a beautiful and inspired place! I am so happy for you. I would like to live there myself! I can imagine myself spending the rest of my life there! I hope you find your happiness in this place, more importantly, find out God's will for your life, and live it to the full. God bless you!

Miriam Deshayes commented:
I love it! Wow dad that sounds so interesting, its like a whole different world down there, what an adventure :) Glad to hear about your egg peeling skills ;)

Luke Reifler commented:
Praise God for his leading and provision for you - physically and spiritually. God is good! It is so wonderful to hear how your piece of the puzzle fits into theirs so well. May every week challenge you to grow greater faith, greater love, greater passion and greater peace. DaySpring will miss you but Poatina will be blessed by your contribution. May heaven invade earth wherever you go.

Me myself and I - welcome to the world of loneliness

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 00:00:00 +1100

Being alone is not something to run away from. In fact there is much healing in listening to the sound of your own silence.

Just like each relationship started one day each relationship will also end one day. It is a fact of life. Welcome to the real world. The issue is that as we seek out and foster new relationships some of our current ones may come to an abrupt end for no fault of our own. Obviously separation and divorce come blaring loud in our mind but may I suggest that each one of us will be called to widowhood. So what can we learn from our seniors in that matter?

Bad love is better than no love at all? I beg to differ. Leaning onto someone else instead of standing firm on your own two feet is called being co-dependant. It is the fastest way to ruin a relationship. You tend to attract people like yourself. So if you are out of balance you will seek solace with people who are also off kilter and the vicious cycle of misery repeats itself.

Have you even considered that God Himself might be the one to pull the plug on your merry-go-round in order to get your attention and get you to address issues swept under the carpet all this time? God is in the character building business and He doesn't mind breaking a few eggs to make an omelette. There is a day of reckoning for each one of us. In order to be fit for eternity we have to undergo a refining process. Discipline is never pleasant at the time but in the end it produces the fruit that we can boast about. If you are currently undergoing a time of loneliness - don't fight it - embrace it. Learn how to make peace with yourself. Learn how to talk to yourself and forgive yourself. {Learn to improve the quality of your self-talk.} People who talk to themselves are not cuckoo. They are the ones who can shut down the onslaught of nonsense coming out of the TV to take the time to have a good one on one talk in the mirror.

Instead of running around aimlessly to bolster your self-esteem why don't you start at home? What you think about yourself will determine your future. You can rip out the batteries from your clock but time will still tick along. In fact there will be a day of reckoning where we will each individually have to give an account of what we've done with that precious amount of time we have been given on earth.

There are three slices of our time: the past, the present and the future. The past is closed. You may have good memories of the good old days but you can't live in them. Photos and videos may still bear witness of things gone by but unless you are an historian you don't want to dwell there. Be thankful of what you enjoyed but have the courage to say goodbye.

The future has a way of catching up on us. Ever wondered if you could freeze time and stop those bills from arriving in the mail? In fact people say: "Have you noticed how time flies on us?" What you are doing today is a direct result of what you did yesterday and last week and the month before and last year. It's all coming to fruition - today!

So our lives are so ordained that today is where you should make things count. That's the perfect antidote to loneliness. Find something good to do today and you won't feel lonely! Find out what you are good at and do it with all your might. Then you will have friends who will appreciate you for who you are and what you stand for - not for what they can get out of you.

Adrian McCabe commented:
Hey Bruno, that's another great article, keep up the good work. Adrian

Where do you belong?

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 00:00:00 +1100

Divorce, unemployment and homelessness have the effect of causing you to lose your bearings because your familiar environment is no longer there.

Your self-esteem, your self-worth and your self-image are all rooted in what you have achieved in your environment. I was once cruising along nicely when my marriage blew-up in my face after a drawn-out period of unemployment exposed some cracks in the relationship.

As men we see ourselves as providers for our family. You may trust someone with whom you spent 20 years of your life raising the same children only to find out that the love and commitment have grown cold and the rats are leaving the sinking ship.

For a man silence means tacit agreement but when a woman dishes out the silence treatment to her husband it means protracted resistance. That's why it is important to talk things over in a marriage because there might be two opposite mindsets about the same situation.

How do you draw the line in a home business that's going nowhere fast? How do you sell your skills when your own venture is failing? Who wants to hire a loser? In frustration and desperation you go back into your cave and hope to come up with a better gizmo, the killer gizmo that's going to make all this suffering worth the pain after all. What if that does not happen?

What if in this drawn-out struggle you also lose your accommodation? Have you known what it is like to move from place to place but not belonging anywhere? Have you slept in your car and shaved in the parenting restroom of a fast food restaurant? Have you kept in touch with your email lugging your laptop to recharge in a public library?

Have you lost the esteem of friends who don't know if they want to help you anymore because your situation is so protracted? Have you stared in dismay at all your belongings stacked up in a storage facility - not knowing whether you should sell it all or hang-on for a breakthrough?

I have gone through all that and since I do not have anybody to talk to I thought I'll give you the benefit of the experience by writing it down...

Some people advise me I should keep quiet about my circumstances because it will put off prospective employers. I reckon when the time comes I can sell my story and talk about my boot camp experience and how it made me a better person.

Don't have pity on me - your time will come too. I don't wish this on anybody but the fact of the matter is that we are descending into some troubled times ahead. Be prepared. In fact I don't know if you can ever prepare for this. You just have to handle it one day at a time.

Robert commented:
Hi Bruno, Thanks so much for your courage. Well written Rob

Disrespectful wives and unloving husbands

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +1100

People who are in a relationship for themselves find that they are not getting a good deal while those who seek to meet the needs of their partner find out that we are wired quite differently.

For a man the main currency is respect. How can you establish your leadership in the home if your authority is under-valued by no other than the one who should be the president of your fan-club?

For a woman the main currency is love. Not sexual intercourse but a steady stream of non-verbal clues that he cares for you and your well-being is always on his mind. How depressing can it be when he says: "I told you at your birthday that I love you! Why do you need to hear it again constantly?"

"Vive la difference!" God in His infinite wisdom made us complimentary - not similar. So how can you leverage the untapped potential of your marriage? For some unfortunately I should rephrase it as: "How can you pre-empt the next clash and rebuild a better foundation?"

Doing life together is an adventure, a risk, a challenge, a step into the unknown. There are things in life that you will never learn at school, things that your mother never told you about, things that you will have to workout for yourselves.

The one and only question that really matters is this: "Are you committed to make this marriage work?" "Are you in it for the long-haul?" "Are you committed to your mate through hail, rain or shine?"

Unless you are fully committed to each other you have no-where to go together. Once you realise it is more blessed to give than to receive you will learn to trust that your goodwill will not go in vain.

Being just flatmates in the same accommodation is no way to run a marriage. You have to be sold-out on a common goal for the marriage to stick. You can bet your resolve will be tested indeed. You might see a happy couple at a social function but you may not want to swap places because precious little did you know about the ordeal they might have gone through together...

As iron sharpens iron a married couple have to grow-up together. Your whole life together is not meant to be a static experience but an obstacle course where each step makes you more understanding, and may I say more loving and more respectful of each other.

The bottom line is this: If you value somebody so much that you have made the commitment to share your lives together then it stands to reason that you would refrain from doing the things that person dislikes and endeavour to figure out how to do perfectly the things that person enjoys from you.

Most dangerous prayer

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +1100

I once said to God: "Make me the person you want me to be."

Just one word of advice - don't utter these words lightly. You end-up being on your own trying to make sense of the situation - racing 1000 scenarios of where things might have gone wrong - where did I lose the plot?

God does not owe you an answer on every question you ask. Remember He is Sovereign. I thought being unemployed was bad enough. But I wasn't unemployed. I was running my own business and it was falling apart fast. More to the point it never really got off the ground. But how do you know when to pull the plug on your dearest dream?

Then disquiet and friction crept in the home. Rebellious teenagers, disrespectful wife. Obviously I wasn't the best father and husband they had hoped for. They wanted a cash cow that would keep on providing hail, rain or shine. So I wasn't a man anymore - I was a bum.

After they left I had peace. Peace to stare at the walls wondering how to pay off the credit card, the car loan and the mortgage. I wrote a screenplay about the ordeal while it was still fresh in my mind. Writing brings me peace and closure.

Then I moved heaven and earth in a prayer offensive to restore things the way they were or better. Thinking all of this was just a bad dream. But it got worse. While I was holding an olive branch of reconciliation she was busy seeking another relationship. She found what she wanted and I was devastated. So much for praying and trusting God! You could have at least tapped me on the shoulder and advised me I was barking at the wrong tree.

It is not our business to know the future. What matters is the attitude of our heart. But then another test was forthcoming: homelessness. January 2009 was the housing crisis in Sydney and the lease of my flat wasn't being renewed. I moved my furniture and belongings into storage. I bought a panel van as my mobile living quarters. Then winter came. I read books in shopping centres and worked with my laptop in public libraries. Do you want to be a Christian too?

It's not what happens to you that matters to God. Most of the time He is in control and you're not. It's the way you handle it. You can say to yourself this is just another test. You can say to yourself God values you so much He believes you can pull it through and become in the process the refined gold He is after. Welcome to every day boot camp!

Laugh on me

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +1100

What does the cannibal say after eating a clown? It tasted funny.

A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry we don't serve poultry here!" The chicken replies: "That's OK I just wanted a drink."

How do fleas travel from one place to another? Itch hiking.

Mary took her pony to the vet. The animal is now in a stable condition.

Why couldn't the pony talk? He was a little horse.

What do cows read to their calves at night? Dairy tales.

What does the unloved pig say to the farmer? You take me for grunted.

Why don't anteaters get sick? They are full of anty-bodies.

What do you call two dinosaurs who pranged their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

What do you call cattle with a sense of humour? Laughing stock.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain before and bought jewellery.

What's the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Judge: "Do you have anything to offer to this court before I pass sentence?"
Defendant: "No, your Honour, my lawyer took every penny!"

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, tree surgeons debarked, models deposed and dry-cleaners depressed?

An accountant suffering insomnia visits his doctor. "Have you tried counting sheep?" "I think that's the problem. I make a mistake then I spend three hours trying to fix it!"

"Doctor, I think I need glasses." "You certainly do, Sir. This is a fish and chips shop."

A woman bet her local butcher $50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. "Nope" he said "the steaks are too high."

Employer: In this job we really need someone who is responsible.
Job applicant: I am definitely your man! In my last job every time something went wrong, they said I was responsible.

CEO at AGM: Ladies and gentlemen, last month we were teetering on the edge of a precipice. Today I am proud to announce we are going to take a great step forward.

A boss asks an employee if he believes in life after death. "Why do you want to know?" asks the employee. The boss replies: "Because while you said you were at your grandmother's funeral, she popped in to see you."

A woman got a job as a historian only to realise there was no future in it.

Boss: "I'm going to mix business with pleasure."
Employee: "What's that?"
Boss: "You're fired!"

Loving my enemies up close

Sat, 10 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +1100

I thought I was doing fine loving my enemies from a distance. Then it occurred to me I had also to love them up close as well.

I had forgiven my ex-wife for breaking her marriage vows and I assumed the matter was closed and it was all water under the bridge. Well not quite. The litmus test was when I was asked to perform my father's duties at my daughter's wedding. I declined with the lame excuse that it would be a parody of the institution of marriage. To witness my daughter's vows with the presence of the one who broke her marriage vows with me and had replaced me with another man even though I am still alive was more than I could bear.

This was all playing in my mind six months before the due date. All sorts of emotions battled in my head so much so that I could not put the matter to rest.

Forgiving is not a feeling - it is a deliberate choice of the heart. It does not make any sense as you try to reason out your self-interest. The circuit breaker for me was when I was convicted of harbouring a root of bitterness. I suffered a compound trauma when I lost my business, my house, my marriage and my children all within one year. Emotionally I had to disconnect all those issues. If I had been the perfect husband I suppose my wife would have had no reason to leave. So there were faults on both sides.

I assumed that if we paid our tithes regularly we would be shielded from financial hardship. It wasn't to be so. I assumed that if I delivered the best product I could engineer God would take care of the marketing for me. It wasn't to be so. I assumed that if we gave our children a Christian education they would not rebel against their parents. Sweet illusion...

If truly I am a survivor of chronic unemployment, divorce and homelessness then I have to behave in a way where those hardships do not block the love of Christ flowing out through me.

I suddenly realised my bitterness regarding the raw deal I got out of life betrayed my Christian witness. I promptly picked up the phone and announced to my daughter that I would attend her wedding, walk down the aisle with her and deliver a speech. What a watershed moment! It was not about my misguided feelings. No, it was all about my daughter's big day and I wanted to make sure I wasn't the one to spoil it.

Adrian McCabe commented:
Thank you Bruno, what a great blog from the heart, and challenging to us to love without conditions. God bless, Adrian

Robert Walker commented:
Bruno, thanks for being so open. Your story and decisions are very inspiring and encouraging for my walk with Jesus.

Peter DUNN commented:
A great bit of sharing to go on your blog, Bruno. Thank you for passing it on. Yes, 2 Cor 1:3-7 confirms it, also 3 John 2. Love always in Jesus. Peter

Can you love people as they are?

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +1100

One of the fastest ways to ruin a relationship is to relentlessly try to change somebody else. Try to change yourself and see how you go... (How promptly can you set and achieve goals for yourself like loosing weight, saving money, etc...) If you can't even do that what makes you think that you will succeed at changing someone else?

One of the hallmarks of true love is the ability to accept the person as he or she is - warts and all. Unconditional love is rather uncommon in our society. We always try to leverage our affection on some pre-conditions. Yet true love is what everybody is craving for. The underlying issue is that true love delivers acceptance.

We need to be accepted by others for our self-esteem to rise. In turn this releases us to be our best. So here is the catch twenty two: manipulative love stifles self-esteem which in turns blocks self-fulfilment.

Some have gone the way of life coaching or worse neuro linguistic programming which is a clever cover-up for self-hypnosis when we had the answer all along in the bible. This old book is replete with stories and examples of unconditional love and the benefits thereof.

Fear and faith are mutually exclusive. People dare not use those words these days. They talk about hang-ups and motivation instead. Anything that can steer you away from Judeo-Christian values is a good thing it seems... But that does not make the problem go away. Risk taking is character strength. In fact you cannot do anything in life without taking a risk. Stepping out in the street or turning on a light switch involves taking some risk. You do it unconsciously because your experience confirms that the risk is minimal or non existent.

So what about taking risks with people? That means putting somebody else's interest ahead of yours. Wow! What a statement in a world that worships selfishness - the trilogy of me, myself and I. If people would operate in that realm it would turn dating and recruitment interviews upside down. People would say; "What can I do to make you enjoy this special day?" or "What could our company do to release your full potential if you were to join us?"

Bad things happen to good people for no fault of their own. No matter how people try you cannot control your circumstances. Why not let go and trust God instead? You could be in the prime of life and marry somebody who five years down the track will become disabled. You have two choices: dump the partner and find someone else trying to silence the guilt of your conscience through drugs or alcohol. The alternative is to face your challenge and learn to live by faith not by sight. Those who have an easy life learn nothing. Hollywood is a showcase of those who have it all and are a hollow shell inside. Stop dreaming in front of the TV watching the wrong role models. Welcome to the real world where real people take real risks.

5 Things Women Are Looking For In A Man

Sat, 26 Nov 2011 00:00:00 +1100

A big heart "Good Samaritan"

A man who is not so caught up in himself that he has compassion for the plight of those who cross his path. Someone who is not so selfish as to have the leisure to consider the welfare of others. If he already treats strangers well he is likely to treat you well also.

Integrity "Man of his Word"

A man who honours his pledge no matter how uncomfortable that might be down the track under pressure. By implication if he can do that then he will stick to his marriage vows. Someone who is brave enough to last for the long term. Someone who doesn't spend his time watching over his shoulder. Someone who has the courage to finish the race he has started.

Companion "Quality Time"

A man who can get down on his knees and laugh with the children - even if they are not his children. A man who can play and tell bedtime stories. Someone who doesn't get bored with human beings and knows when to turn the TV off. He plays sport with his mates rather than watching sport on TV. He enjoys playing tennis with you if you ask. He does it not for the sake of tennis but for the sake of sharing life together no matter what the activity might be (even shopping).

Attention and focus "Listening Ear"

A man who does not rush to fix your problem. Someone who is wise enough to pick up on your issue and give you an alternate point of view without forcing his ideas on you. A man who is not taken off guard by a feminine mindset but who respects it, protects it and cherishes it.

Leadership "Setting Direction"

A man who can set and achieve all sorts of goals not just by himself but also by getting others involved. This is the authority you naturally want to submit to - not because you have to - but because you want to. Someone who has done his homework about long term goals and can correct his mistakes.

Leave your past where it belongs and bring your future into existence

Sat, 12 Nov 2011 00:00:00 +1100

No point looking back over your shoulder. Everybody makes mistakes. The cure fits in three words: Get Over It! But while you are mulling over the same scenario of where things might have gone wrong; your future seems ever so distant.

The best way to pull yourself out of that grind is to thank God for each new day. Do you get up early with a sense of expectation, determined to make the most of every opportunity - or do you grumble about how the good old days were stolen from you?

Where you focus your mind is where your creativity will start working. You were born to solve problems - so welcome problems that come your way. See them as juicy opportunities to turn the tables on the devil. You have only two choices: the enemy of your soul or the lover of your soul. Which one will you listen to?

How can you make your life count today? What is your sphere of influence? What makes you tick? What is your gifting? What is it that you do exceedingly well? What comes to you naturally? What would be your ideal job? What is the thing you are passionate about? What is the topic you are an expert on?

Anyone still wondering after this barrage of pointed questions? You do not want to take a personal inventory because somewhere, somehow you have left the enemy of your soul rob you of your dream and destiny... It is time to regain the lost ground. Even what seems like wasted time can be turned into good. You will appreciate your mountain top experience even more so if you have been through the valley of the shadow of death first. The paradox is that you need the humility of an adverse experience to steward the prosperity to come. In Christian lingo it's called picking up your cross daily. Sunshine comes after the rain. Calm comes after the storm. You have to weather both equally well.

Ask yourself: "Right now, what is the most productive thing I should be doing?" Is there an opportunity to do good in your environment? Do you need to hone your skills in one area to be trusted for your next promotion? No pain - no gain. If you knew the future there would be no challenge, no risks to take, no joy of contending... everything would be reduced to a fatalistic attitude. Only God knows the future - probably because He is the only one who can be trusted with it... Instead you have been given the unique opportunity to bring your own future into being by the things you are striving for today. Remember Christ's words: "To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life."

Control Your Thoughts Or Your Thoughts Will Control You

Sat, 05 Nov 2011 00:00:00 +1100

Do you feel you have invested a good chunk of your life into someone else and now it has all been trashed?

Are you being drawn to appropriate blame on something that happened in the past?

Bad things happen to good people for no fault of their own - this is life - welcome to the real world!

The issue is not what happened - you cannot change it. The issue is - how are you going to move from here?

The short and sweet answer to it all is this - GET OVER IT! Some of you may not yet be ready to hear it but the sooner you are able to close the door on the past and rebuild your future from where you are now in the present - the better off you will be.

How does controlling your thoughts can help? The battle is in the mind. The self-talk that goes on in your head is something you can address.

There is something in us that cries out for justice when we have been wronged. There are also scores of people around the world who are worse off than you and yet do not complain. What is their secret? They have learned to let go of unnecessary emotional baggage. Are you travelling lightly or are you burdened with remorse and bitterness? If so it can become a mental cancer that will eat you up if you let it get hold of you. There is indeed a time to mourn the loss of a relationship, the loss of an opportunity, the loss of a whole section of your life that has apparently gone to waste.

But there is also a time to move on. Only you can decide when and how to do that. Maybe moving to a different town will give you a change of scenery. Although be mindful of not cutting whatever emotional support you have left.

A good mental discipline is to say "I will not go there!" when you are being drawn to reminisce about the same old scenario. This can happen first thing in the morning when you wake up or when you are idle sitting in public transport. Catch it in its tracks - snap out of it - this thing is trying to own you.

The flip side of all of this is that there are valuable lessons in life that you can only learn through overcoming adversity. Did you hear me? You have been chosen worthy to go through your experience because you will come out stronger and more mature out of it. Welcome to the club of the braves.

It's not what happened to me that matters; it's how I handle it!

Fernando Gallegos commented:
Thanks Bruno. Truly inspiring and motivating. Ever thought of presenting your philosophies to an audience? Seriously!

Linda Brooks commented:
Lighthouses are never built in safe places. So if all you see around you are rocks and shipwrecks, maybe you have been given the privilege of being a lighthouse. In spite of the dark solitary shadows of night, your place in life has a reason.

Adrian McCabe commented:
Great article Bruno. Keep up the good work! God bless.

Some handy one-liners to entertain your guests

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +1100

When my wife discovered I was using the sofa as a trampoline, she hit the roof.

I told a dwarf a joke - it went right above his head.

I had a terrible nightmare. I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up my pillow was gone.

She said she was sick of me. Undeterred I bought her a get well card.

My ex-wife said she wanted to dance on my grave. So I arranged for a burial at sea.

The magic hasn't gone out of our marriage. He still disappears every few weeks...

He's not a complete idiot... some parts are missing.

I never drink coffee at work but I toss and turn at my desk all day.

I told my shrink I thought I was a dog. At my next appointment, he wouldn't let me up on the couch.

If you're feeling unwanted or insignificant... try missing a couple of mortgage repayments.

If God is watching us...we'd better be entertaining...

I bought myself an iPhone, I bought my son an iPad and my daughter an iPod. Finally I bought my wife an iRon.

The drought forced a farmer to turn his field into an auto-parts junkyard. From that time on every year was a bumper crop.

French people do not like fast food. They eat snails instead.

My passport photo does not do me justice. Someone said: "You don't need justice - you need mercy!"

A woman turned me down for a date... I had to explain I wanted to have dinner with her - not having her for dinner.

The government promised me a stimulus package...instead I got a raft of measures.

In a volatile market you want to make sure your liquid assets don't go down the drain.

All the toilets have been stolen from police headquarters. At this stage detectives have nothing to go on.

A giant hole has appeared in the middle of Main Street. Authorities are looking into it.

What does the mayonnaise say to the fridge? Close the door, I am dressing!

I knew a man who was so fat, as a volunteer fire-fighter he would put out fires by just sitting on them!

Seventy per cent of the earth surface is covered with water. The remaining thirty per cent is mostly covered with mortgages.

I have opened an account at a no-frills bank. There are no security cameras. Instead the security guard draws a sketch of everyone who walks in.

When will you learn to speak your partner's emotional language?

Sat, 22 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +1100

Unless it is packaged in the right format, you are wasting your time expressing love or regret. If you don't hit the right chord for that person, it won't come across as sincere and genuine.

That's an astounding truth but it has caused many relationships to go awry. Why? We blindly assume that everybody else communicates appreciation or apology the same way we do ourselves. Because most of us are self-centred we only realize we have a communication problem when it is too late.

Some people will only take on board your token of love, appreciation or affection if you speak to them words of affirmation. Others simply want you to spend quality time with them. There is a group where nothing registers unless you present them with a gift. (Not necessarily something expensive, but something thoughtful, something you made yourself for them, something that demonstrates you know their taste...) others still really enjoy when you do things for them, help out in a thoughtful way. Finally there are those who need physical touch. If it's a man that can be a hug, a double handshake, a pat on the shoulder, etc...

Likewise when you've goofed something and it is your call to apologize you have also to deliver your message in the right shape. Some people will only forgive you if you express regret by saying to their face: "I am sorry". Others want you to take responsibility for your mistake. There is a group of folks who won't be moved unless you make restitution in some way. Another type are those who expect you to take action to avoid a repeat of your mistake. Finally there are those who simply expect you to ask them for their forgiveness.

As you can see there is quite some variety out there and people don't walk around in life with a sign around their neck telling you their emotional language predilection. Ignore it at your own peril. The default behaviour is to express lover or regret the same way, you yourself like to receive it. When it does not work you have some homework to do. The wonderful thing about falling in love is that you can for a while ignore your setbacks and press on expressing yourself in different ways until you hit that person's hot button. But what happens when the routine has settled in 5 or 10 years down the track? You wrongly assume that because you've known each other for quite some time now you have somewhat mingled in your love and apology languages and yours is as good as mine. Wrong! Danger! You need to fan into flame the first bond that got you started in the first place and re-live each day as a new day.

Wedding Speech

Sat, 15 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +1100

Photo Gallery

I honour you as the next generation. Those of us who have almost ran our race pass the baton over to you and wish you all the very best. It is a courageous thing to get married these days in a world that has clearly lost its marbles - yet you are very wise in making a lifelong commitment to uphold each other and do life together.

Make sure you guard your quality time together and with the Lord. A couple who can worship together at home is a couple who will be able to tune-in to the voice of God. Sometimes the Scriptures alone do not give us a clear path to go to. It is a humbling experience to find that God sometimes chooses to guide you through a picture, a word or a dream given not to you but to your spouse.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment to uphold and build up each other. It is the bedrock of society where we learn management and social skills - where we raise children in an environment of peace, trust and protection giving them both a male and female role model to look up to. No wonder the family is under attack in our society because some minorities are itching to root out Christian values from our institutions while the majority is doing next to nothing to protect them.

Men are blessed with a logical mind and can work tirelessly on a distant lifelong goal like a career, building a house, etc... Women have a great intuition, share their emotions openly and can handle multiple tasks all at the same time. Use those attributes to complement but not to undermine each another. God made each one of us lopsided so that it is only when we come together that we are complete. If you have issues with that - talk to Him. After all He is your Creator.

Do not try to change each other either by brute force or by constant nagging. Instead ask yourself: How can I facilitate my husband to become the man God intended him to be? How can I facilitate my wife to become the woman God intended her to be? Develop the discipline of turning off the TV, the internet and put the phone on hold while you look into each other's soul. There is an intimacy which is not of a sexual kind that you will have to discover and work at. Some old couples are known to be able to sense each other's emotions and opinions without saying a word. Don't wait until you're old to reach that level. When you look into each other's eyes you should be able to agree on your common goals and trust each other enough to leave the fine details to each other's interpretation.

Do not betray each other's privacy by discussing over the phone matters that should remain within the marriage. Make the most of every opportunity to learn together and maintain a teachable spirit. There will be no shortage of untold pressure to test you but as long as you remain together in heart and mind and seek the face of God together He will take you from strength to strength. This is something no-one can teach you. You will have to write your own story for yourselves. We are all looking forward to read the first chapter.

Sorry That I Exist

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +1100

It has sometimes a surreal effect. It's like being a fly on the wall and watching the world go by without you. You force yourself to attend a family function and you realise that the world has moved on without you and it seems nobody really cares.

You might muster the utmost effort to maintain contact with your estranged folks but for all intents and purposes you might as well be dead because for them there is no intent or desire to know where you are at.

Doing life together is a dynamic thing. Unless you share again some sort of activity with those you are disconnected from - there is no interaction flowing again.

If your future is obscured by some stumbling block you might fall back into trying to fix your past - the very thing nobody can achieve. The past is past and you can't go there and redo it again.

As far as work is concerned - the longer you stay out of work the harder it is to get back in. Employers would rather poach key people from a competitor rather than give the one who needs a job the most a fair chance. Trying to leverage transferrable skills is another way to be met with rejection especially if you are going through a recruitment agency. They are trained to look at the negatives in order to thin down a pile of 200 applicants into a manageable shortlist of 5 or 10. Anything that puts you out of the square will label you as a misfit.

Gone are the days where every candidate who applied for the position received a polite letter advising them that "in this instance we decided not to proceed with your application" but "we wish that you succeed in securing the role that you are after..."

You are left wondering what went wrong. Were you undercut by someone willing to work for next-to-nothing? Did someone actually get hired at all? Did an acquaintance of the firm bypass the queue and got the position ahead of everybody? Did a former worker return back from a stay overseas? Lack of feedback is a dreadful thing for someone struggling with rejection. You have nothing to go by, insofar as improving your current approach to the problem.

Predicting the Future - Four Tips to Hone Your Intuitive Skills

Sat, 01 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +1000

Some people look at the sky one evening and they can tell you exactly whether it will rain tomorrow... can this be done about the economy or politics? Maybe - but not by staring at the sky...

Nobody is left who lived between the two World Wars to relate to us what it was like and what were the signs approaching...

The Great Depression of the 1920s lasted over ten years and was followed by the rise to power of Adolf Hitler in Nazi Germany. If history has the habit of repeating itself this current recession could well last another 5 or 10 years and usher the rise to power of the antichrist - the champion of globalisation, dividing the planet into ten regions under the umbrella of a revamped UN mashed European Union and combining all religions into one. It doesn't take a genius to see it is just around the corner.

So what would constitute four easy pointers to watch for?

Globalisation: Every time an industry is uprooted by unfair foreign competition we lose a piece of our independence. Every time we give up something as a nation we were quite capable of doing ourselves we become enslaved to global trade for our sustenance. Nations are being robbed of their identity. When elections worldwide turn into a popularity contest you can see how people are eagerly waiting for some charismatic figure with a compelling propaganda to make the great deal of the century (a 7 years peace treaty between Israel and its neighbours...)

Political correctness. Unnatural ideas are being pushed onto people under the guise of "tolerance" and "diversity" and "equal rights". New mumbo jumbo words are being coined to labels things we do not understand nor can control. Carbon footprint, bio-diversity, global warming are terms that were unheard of 10 years ago.

Collapsing birth rate in the western civilization. Within 20 years the next generation will be missing in action. Governments are panicking that there won't be enough taxpayers to fund all the looming pensions soon due to be paid to people who live longer and longer. Their answer is to open wide the doors to immigration. This creates social and racial unrest as the newcomers do not integrate in the society.

Destruction of the family unit. The divorce rate is so high that an entire generation of children is coming up - not having experienced the loving care of a stable home, and looking up to the role models of a man and woman committed to each other for a lifetime. People will enter adulthood with issues - not the strength to cope with any challenge.

For some good life directions click here

Can You Coach Yourself?

Sat, 24 Sep 2011 00:00:00 +1000

As long as you keep your ability to learn you will be forever young. For some of us though we might have to unlearn a few things first.

Why would you want to coach yourself? It sounds like we have lost the ability to intuitively learn as we go along. Maybe a more sinister issue would be the fact that with so many broken homes around, our mentoring role model is missing in action.

The difference between learning and coaching is that the latter requires a monitoring process, a feedback mechanism if you wish. You can learn the periodic table of elements but unless you find some practical every day application of that knowledge it's not going to change your life. When we talk about coaching ourselves we mean applying knowledge that will improve our quality of life.

You may want to coach yourself to succeed in the competitive job market and secure the employment you deserve. You may decide to coach yourself to tackle your finances and trade the share market without letting your emotions getting in the way. What about coaching yourself to set worthwhile goals and reach them through a deliberate and systematic approach? Finally some of us will do wonderfully if we had the discipline to do some personal accounting and keep our bookkeeping up to date. (See at the end of this article some resources to do all of the above online.)

A coach is your alter-ego sitting on your shoulder and whispering encouragement and determination in your ear. In this world of me, myself and I where many are the casualty of separation and divorce a soul mate is sorely missed. That does not mean to say that you partner or spouse can be your coach but a word of encouragement well spoken at the appropriate time can make all the difference in the world.

What about joining a blog or a forum online? What about finding a support group? But that wouldn't be coaching yourself anymore, I suppose...

In the world of sport where the term "coach" comes from it appears that former champions have recycled themselves into coaching the next generation as well as earning royalties from brand names using their endorsement.

A coach does not need to be an expert in the field of knowledge you are pressing into. A coach is simply someone who keeps you accountable so that you won't give up your worthwhile endeavour at the first sign of resistance, the second, or the tenth...

Therefore in order to coach yourself all you have to do is to develop a split personality where you can play both the role of overcomer and the role of the coach. Simple huh?

For a range of self-coaching online services click here

Have you found a good reason to do life together?

Sat, 17 Sep 2011 00:00:00 +1000

Warm feelings will lead you astray. Unless you are passionate about a lifelong goal to reach together, you have no business entertaining a relationship with somebody.

That goal could be as simple and as challenging as being the provider/nurturer for a safe family environment. That being said, you will face scores of obstacles that will stretch you no end. The problem is not what you will do together when things go well - what will you do when things go sour (yes, they will, you can bet on that...)

It's easy to love somebody when you get what you want out of the relationship. The issue is how can you and your partner gauge what your behaviour will be like under pressure.

Introducing a concept rarely heard of in our selfish, fast-paced, get-it-now world of the 21st century: unconditional love. No more "I love you as long as you make me feel good" kind of thing. Unconditional love means that you put somebody else's interests ahead of yours. Ouch! That's a high calling! Some men enter marriage as boys and only gain maturity when they find out that the welfare of a little bundle of life is totally dependent on them. Some women are quite confused with their identity in the corporate world until they fall pregnant and their body chemistry and mindset changes radically to prepare themselves into raising a brand new human being.

If raising a family is the reason you want to get married, it is a most worthwhile goal that will fulfil you to the max. If you enter into a relationship thinking that having children is a distant option in the future and you have no specific reason to walk through life together except having fun, you will fail - guaranteed!

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If you avoid pain, discomfort, challenges, etc... you will never grow up and will remain a selfish introverted little sod - not the material for a lifelong relationship. Others will do well to avoid you...

If you need two incomes instead of one to make ends meet you are living beyond your means. You put yourself in a situation where a slight mishap could jeopardize your goals. The day of reckoning will come when you realise the values you held dear may not be worth the effort. At the same time the values you discounted as optional extras are the ones that will see you through a difficult patch.

Make no mistake. This generation is greatly unprepared for what is to come. The good times of the baby boomers are over well and truly. There is nobody left around to tell is how they survived the Great Depression of the 1920s.

Even saving for a lifetime to buy your own piece of real-estate is no longer a reasonable dream. Why buy something that could halve in value? But where do you live in the meantime? What about finding out what people need the most (not iPhones or plasma TVs, something more tangible and long lasting than that) and setting out to provide that commodity as your life long goal together? What about practising what unconditional love really means to you?

The Phenomenon Of Thrill-Seeking Sports

Sat, 10 Sep 2011 00:00:00 +1000

After bungee jumping, mountain biking, parachuting what will people think of next? What is the motivation behind all this?

Is people self-esteem so low that if they don't make it to the Guinness Book of Records they feel like a nobody? Has reality TV challenged the weak that they are indestructible? Are people so bored stiff with their lives that they want to finish with a bang?

The amount of injuries in sport is a worrisome trend - not just for star players but for mundane fans who make the bulk of knee replacement surgery. Just like dentists who invest their earnings in shares of candy and chocolate manufacturers, orthopedics surgeons might be shareholders in sport fixtures and TV channels.

When sport met marketing and money, sport ceased to be sport. Instead it is a trend setter, an arena where champions are made and worshipped, a religion of achievers for achievement's sake, a cosy fraternity of eternally young folks who produce wealth for themselves, their doctors, coaches and their sponsors.

Our forefathers moved from an agricultural society to an industrial society. We in turn have moved from a service industry to an entertainment industry. Marketing used to be about finding out what people really want and giving it to them. When that became overcrowded in every market segment the next stage is to create your own market niche out of nothing.

Sport is the perfect playground for this. Create your own sport and promote it until you get a critical mass of followers. Connect a kite to a surf board and call it kitesurfing. Aficionados spare no expense in buying up the right high-tech gear to be seen in the right places with the right crowd.

If you end-up in hospital then you will have the right story to tell and you may ask your boss to sponsor the next event.

Bike riding is a prime example where an ordinary bike costs $150 but an impressive cycling machine can tally over $10,000 and it does not even have a rear vision mirror!

Like other religions sport is a way to keep your mind off the problems you can't tackle (like a divorce, a lingering court case, a disabled child) and allow you to live in a made-up world where you can make your own rules.

The only problem is that is never satisfies. Even those who make it to the pinnacle of their endeavour do not stay there for very long. Why so many star players fall into drugs, adultery, gambling, match fixing or else? Is that really the role models we want to show our children who do sport at school? Should professional sport be banned so that those champions can also have a regular job like the rest of us and donate their sponsorship fees to charity?

Will you be left behind?

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 00:00:00 +1000

Are you betting that things will improve just by themselves? Would you take the view that the earth and its inhabitants are doomed, that we have passed the point of no return? Do you want to be left behind to find out?

Suddenly. The effect of surprise. The non-linear discontinuity of future events. Suddenly war broke out. Suddenly a terrorist attack took place. Suddenly someone died on their way to work. Suddenly a tsunami wipes out thousands. Suddenly an earthquake occurs. Suddenly you tremble in your boots, have cold sweat and buy an insurance policy...

Let me tell you about the grand daddy of all suddentlys... It's called the rapture. An event that never took place in the past and will never happen again. Although we can look at pre-runners. Noah's ark for instance. While the earth was surrounded by a water canopy and nobody had seen rain before this brave man was obedient to God and built a huge boat over a long time. He was the joke of the town. The story is found in the bible, Genesis chapter 6. God left us the rainbow as a mark in the sky so that we would not forget.

Suddenly in 1948 the state of Israel was established in the Middle-East. Suddenly God handed Jerusalem over to the Jews. Do you want to hear about some more un-expected, world changing events?

Not knowing the future keeps you on your toes. Will you have enough superannuation to retire comfortably? Do you need to build a nuclear shelter under your house? Do you need to stockpile food, candles, solar panels, gasoline?

Do you need to get right with God? What if all that stuff was true? Can you afford to stick your head in the sand? Would you rather buy a home theatre to watch in 3D and surround sound some apocalyptic movie? Would you convince yourself it was all make-believe and your candy bar is still there at the end on the coffee table?

Suddenly the interest rate goes up. Suddenly the price of electricity becomes exorbitant. Suddenly unemployment rises. Suddenly banks foreclose on mortgages. Suddenly there is unrest in the streets. Suddenly the boss calls you in his office.

Suddenly you grab a bible, get on your knees and start reading.

For an expose of Christian values click here

I want to finish well

Sat, 20 Aug 2011 00:00:00 +1000

There are scores of people who had a brilliant start in life but screwed up along the way. Anybody can start the race - will you finish with flying colours?

Adversity is part of life. It is as common as the air we breathe. Actually nobody asked you your opinion. You are part of planet earth and you have a job to do until your number is called. Are you going to make your mark in this world? Or are you going to dissipate your energy and your worth in wild living and obsessions?

Keeping your eyes on the goal at the end of the race is what will keep you on course. But how do you keep your bearings when everybody else is going crazy?

Being a homemaker and raising children is as worthy an existence as being a head of state - and less dangerous too! But what sort of values will you impart on the next generation? Will your marriage stay in one piece by the time it is their turn to marry?

Do you have that sinking feeling that you are losing your connections? Do you find it hard to keep in touch with those that matter to you? Are you always the one to ring up?

What gives your life a meaning is the ability to build up others through simple things. You can talk to people you know on the phone but it is a bad way to get to know strangers. Facebook friends are not really friends unless you get a chance to walk together - meaning share a common activity face to face, not across the internet. That could be something as simple as sharing a meal.

These days people are shy about entertaining folks in their homes. Like if they've got something to hide. Maybe they are afraid you might come back with a pickup truck and steal their belongings.

Just like showing the palm of your hands during a confrontation (meaning you don't hide a weapon), letting people know who you are in your environment (your home) is a token that you are real and trustworthy.

So if you want to finish well, what are you living for? What are the core values that are making your existence worthwhile? What pearls of wisdom have you gathered in a world that clearly has lost its bearings? If you don't stand for something, you are standing for nothing. People say there are no absolutes in this world - everything is relative. Do as you please as long as it does not impeach on the freedom of others...

For some worthwhile core values click here

How do fools fall in love?

Sat, 13 Aug 2011 00:00:00 +1000

This is the one event where a man does not try to process a woman with logic. Something just hit him. He has no clue what it is. He suddenly has the sublime intuition that on his own he is lopsided and that with her, he can become complete.

There is a woman-shaped hole in his heart that only the seductress can fill. He will break a path to her door. In Latin countries you are supposed to take a donkey and a guitar and ride under her balcony and serenade her until she nonchalantly drops the perfumed handkerchief that was tucked between her breasts. Never mind the neighbours. In that culture when a man is in love with a woman the whole village knows about it for obvious reasons. Anglo-Saxons on the other hand are supposed to kneel down and propose with a diamond ring. A whole industry has a vested interest in perpetuating that tradition. I suppose if they also hired guitars and donkeys they would have all bases covered...

Courtship is the art of seeking a woman's affection usually with the hope of marriage. Ballroom dancing was invented to teach women how to walk backwards - utterly relying on the lead of the man they would trust for the rest of their life. Without vision mirrors she goes in reverse totally un-phased at how many walls, pillars or other couples they missed in the journey.

Of course dancing can lead to kissing - which is a way to get two people so close to each other that they can't see what's wrong with them!

Some women conceive courtship akin to an obstacle course to test the skills and resolve of the pretender. They include non-verbal clues as a cheat sheet to give unfair advantage to the favourite. Unfortunately some men compute that if a woman can't express herself with words it's probably not worth listening to her...

It is sad to see some people setting themselves as "dating life coach" to take advantage of those on the rejection heap. On the other hand God is the best matchmaker. Those who are in Christ know He has a sense of humour and knows how to get people to cross paths without feeling manipulated. In fact there are scores of testimonies where people relied on God to find their mate - which in turn released God to perfectly answer their prayer.

Falling in love is the most un-foolish thing you can ever do. Making yourself vulnerable and accountable to someone of the opposite sex is the most risky and rewarding decision you will ever make. Many have despised the day their missed to tune-in to the song of their mermaid. Instead of shipwrecking themselves on the island of bliss they sailed on in a dark ocean of loneliness and unfulfilment.