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5 Things Women Are Looking For In A Man

by Bruno Deshayes on 18 May 2017 permalink
A big heart "Good Samaritan"

A man who is not so caught up in himself that he has compassion for the plight of those who cross his path. Someone who is not so selfish as to have the leisure to consider the welfare of others. If he already treats strangers well he is likely to treat you well also.

Integrity "Man of his Word"

A man who honours his pledge no matter how uncomfortable that might be down the track under pressure. By implication if he can do that then he will stick to his marriage vows. Someone who is brave enough to last for the long term. Someone who doesn't spend his time watching over his shoulder. Someone who has the courage to finish the race he has started.

Companion "Quality Time"

A man who can get down on his knees and laugh with the children - even if they are not his children. A man who can play and tell bedtime stories. Someone who doesn't get bored with human beings and knows when to turn the TV off. He plays sport with his mates rather than watching sport on TV. He enjoys playing tennis with you if you ask. He does it not for the sake of tennis but for the sake of sharing life together no matter what the activity might be (even shopping).

Attention and focus "Listening Ear"

A man who does not rush to fix your problem. Someone who is wise enough to pick up on your issue and give you an alternate point of view without forcing his ideas on you. A man who is not taken off guard by a feminine mindset but who respects it, protects it and cherishes it.

Leadership "Setting Direction"

A man who can set and achieve all sorts of goals not just by himself but also by getting others involved. This is the authority you naturally want to submit to - not because you have to - but because you want to. Someone who has done his homework about long term goals and can correct his mistakes.


Wedding Speech

by Bruno Deshayes on 06 Apr 2017 permalink

I honour you as the next generation. Those of us who have almost ran our race pass the baton over to you and wish you all the very best. It is a courageous thing to get married these days in a world that has clearly lost its marbles - yet you are very wise in making a lifelong commitment to uphold each other and do life together.

Make sure you guard your quality time together and with the Lord. A couple who can worship together at home is a couple who will be able to tune-in to the voice of God. Sometimes the Scriptures alone do not give us a clear path to go to. It is a humbling experience to find that God sometimes chooses to guide you through a picture, a word or a dream given not to you but to your spouse.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment to uphold and build up each other. It is the bedrock of society where we learn management and social skills - where we raise children in an environment of peace, trust and protection giving them both a male and female role model to look up to. No wonder the family is under attack in our society because some minorities are itching to root out Christian values from our institutions while the majority is doing next to nothing to protect them.

Men are blessed with a logical mind and can work tirelessly on a distant lifelong goal like a career, building a house, etc... Women have a great intuition, share their emotions openly and can handle multiple tasks all at the same time. Use those attributes to complement but not to undermine each another. God made each one of us lopsided so that it is only when we come together that we are complete. If you have issues with that - talk to Him. After all He is your Creator.

Do not try to change each other either by brute force or by constant nagging. Instead ask yourself: How can I facilitate my husband to become the man God intended him to be? How can I facilitate my wife to become the woman God intended her to be? Develop the discipline of turning off the TV, the internet and put the phone on hold while you look into each other's soul. There is an intimacy which is not of a sexual kind that you will have to discover and work at. Some old couples are known to be able to sense each other's emotions and opinions without saying a word. Don't wait until you're old to reach that level. When you look into each other's eyes you should be able to agree on your common goals and trust each other enough to leave the fine details to each other's interpretation.

Do not betray each other's privacy by discussing over the phone matters that should remain within the marriage. Make the most of every opportunity to learn together and maintain a teachable spirit. There will be no shortage of untold pressure to test you but as long as you remain together in heart and mind and seek the face of God together He will take you from strength to strength. This is something no-one can teach you. You will have to write your own story for yourselves. We are all looking forward to read the first chapter.


Fools Falling In Love 101

by Bruno Deshayes on 26 Jan 2017 permalink
This is the one event where a man does not try to process a woman with logic. Something just hit him. He has no clue what it is. He suddenly has the sublime intuition that on his own he is lopsided and that with her, he can become complete.

There is a woman-shaped hole in his heart that only the seductress can fill. He will break a path to her door. In Latin countries you are supposed to take a donkey and a guitar and ride under her balcony and serenade her until she nonchalantly drops the perfumed handkerchief that was tucked between her breasts. Never mind the neighbours. In that culture when a man is in love with a woman the whole village knows about it for obvious reasons. Anglo-Saxons on the other hand are supposed to kneel down and propose with a diamond ring. A whole industry has a vested interest in perpetuating that tradition. I suppose if they also hired guitars and donkeys they would have all bases covered...

Courtship is the art of seeking a woman's affection usually with the hope of marriage. Ballroom dancing was invented to teach women how to walk backwards - utterly relying on the lead of the man they would trust for the rest of their life. Without vision mirrors she goes in reverse totally un-phased at how many walls, pillars or other couples they missed in the journey.

Of course dancing can lead to kissing - which is a way to get two people so close to each other that they can't see what's wrong with them!

Some women conceive courtship akin to an obstacle course to test the skills and resolve of the pretender. They include non-verbal clues as a cheat sheet to give unfair advantage to the favourite. Unfortunately some men compute that if a woman can't express herself with words it's probably not worth listening to her...

It is sad to see some people setting themselves as "dating life coach" to take advantage of those on the rejection heap. On the other hand God is the best matchmaker. Those who are in Christ know He has a sense of humour and knows how to get people to cross paths without feeling manipulated. In fact there are scores of testimonies where people relied on God to find their mate - which in turn released God to perfectly answer their prayer.

Falling in love is the most un-foolish thing you can ever do. Making yourself vulnerable and accountable to someone of the opposite sex is the most risky and rewarding decision you will ever make. Many have despised the day their missed to tune-in to the song of their mermaid. Instead of shipwrecking themselves on the island of bliss they sailed on in a dark ocean of loneliness and unfulfilment.


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