home  RSS feed    

Laugh your head off

by Bruno Deshayes on 15 Sep 2016 permalink
world of lonelinessHad a dream I was a muffler. When I woke up I was exhausted.

After i-messaging back and forth with my wife, I jokingly commanded Siri to pass along this message: “You need to get back to work now; you have a husband to support.”
Here’s what Siri sent: “You need to get back to work now; you have a has-been to support.”

I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, “Hey, we’re getting along pretty great lately!”

A salesman talked my uncle into buying 10,000 personalized pens for his business with the promise that he would be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht. A born gambler, my uncle agreed. Well, he won, and a few weeks after the pens arrived, his prize showed up: a 12-inch plastic yacht with 32 plastic feet glued to the bottom.

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station. “I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.” “Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant. “No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”

A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha­­! That’s not going to help,” she said. “Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

Teacher: "Kids, what does the fluffy chicken give you?"
Students: "Eggs!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pink pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Students: "Homework!"

Doctor, why is it that my nose runs and my feet smell?
Well, why don’t you try the other way round : Smell with your nose and run with your feet !

In these last days there are many monsters roaming the earth. I heard of one who didn't have a body - only a nose. I asked "What's her name?" I was told "No Body Nose".


   SEARCH

RECENT ARTICLES

5 Things Women Are Looking For In A Man
Growth Industries Forecast
Leave your past where it belongs and bring your future into existence
Control Your Thoughts Or Your Thoughts Will Control You
Some handy one-liners to entertain your guests
When will you learn to speak your partner's emotional language?
Wedding Speech
Sorry That I Exist
Predicting the Future - Four Tips to Hone Your Intuitive Skills
Can You Coach Yourself?
Driving in Russia is a demolition derby
No cause for conCERN
Have you found a good reason to do life together?
The Phenomenon Of Thrill-Seeking Sports
Will you be left behind?
I want to finish well
Fools Falling In Love 101
Connoisseur of French Idioms
The renaissance of the IT specialist
One-man band better than a conglomerate?
Sardines & Banana Sandwich
Cyberspace investigations
Fabric of society falling apart
Farming body parts and more
Your privacy out the window
Social media going full circle
More oneliners, please
How not to take offence
There is a smell in the air...
Transmuting matters
Love your neighbour as yourself
Emotional Abuse Exposed
Neuro-linguistic programming exposed
Remember to laugh - it's good for you
Life with the Poatinians
Laugh your head off
Me myself and I - welcome to the world of loneliness
Where do you belong?
Disrespectful wives and unloving husbands
Most dangerous prayer
Laugh on me
Global obesity a threat to mankind
Burning the candle at both ends?
Stockbrokers as spin doctors
Tickle my funny bone
Finding the most searched long tail keywords in your market niche
Why is trading such a mind game?
QR codes
Manufacturing comes home with 3D printing
Cyberspace Mobility
Marketing Plan With Potential to Go Viral
Tale of the Farmer and the Share Trader
The eBook Debacle
Why Investing is Not a Get Rich Quick Scheme
Gamblers, Speculators and Investors
Capital raising for the masses
The end is nigh
How good it is to do nothing when all else is busy around
Can you ever trust your favourite brand?
How to negotiate for a win-win outcome
Interrupters interrupted
Starting Your Own Home Based Business
Social media makes us autistic cyberpunks
Stock market versus real estate
Do you believe in superannuation?
Politically Incorrect Rubberneckers
Desperate for purpose and significance
Only trade money you can afford to lose
Bad press for social media
Loving my enemies up close
Smile at the drone - you might be on live camera

TAG CLOUD

scifi abuse action advertising astro travel betrayal birthrate bitterness bluff bullying business camera career caring challenge choices cloud coaching community connection consultant copyright crowd funding cuisine cybercrime design destiny diet disciple driving eBook emotions end entertainment equities events facebook family fax machine final food forecast forgiveness french friends fulfilment future gambling gender gender issues global GM food group guidance health home office human genome humour hunch hypnosis idiom insider investigation investing jokes keyword language laugh lifestyle litigation loneliness long tail lose love manufacture marketing marriage media mobility negotiation neighbor obstacle offense outsourcing past PC issues peace pity poker prayer privacy production race rapture reading real-estate relationship relaxation research rest retirement rich quick scheme risk satire Sci-Fi science search security self control selfhelp selling skills social social media society speculating spin sport spy stem cell stockbroker superannuation thrill time management trading trend tribulation unrest viral vision volunteer vows war win

eBOOKs

BrunoDeshayes.pdf
BrunoDeshayes.epub

MAIN COPYWRITING SITE

Bruno Deshayes


copywriting for a living

BLOGROLL

copywriting wiki

BLOGS FROM SAME PUBLISHER

Resume Digest job hunting
Trading Pal share trading
Wise Accounts online accounting
Aptitude Tests skills and knowledge
Goal Setter life coaching
Social Buzz what matters to us
Photo Exhibition photo artistry
Log Book customer relation management
Witness for Christ Christian faith
Bread Of Life support network
  powered by MooChoo    mobile view