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Where do you belong?

by Bruno Deshayes on 25 Aug 2016 permalink
Divorce, unemployment and homelessness have the effect of causing you to lose your bearings because your familiar environment is no longer there.

Your self-esteem, your self-worth and your self-image are all rooted in what you have achieved in your environment. I was once cruising along nicely when my marriage blew-up in my face after a drawn-out period of unemployment exposed some cracks in the relationship.

As men we see ourselves as providers for our family. You may trust someone with whom you spent 20 years of your life raising the same children only to find out that the love and commitment have grown cold and the rats are leaving the sinking ship.

For a man silence means tacit agreement but when a woman dishes out the silence treatment to her husband it means protracted resistance. That's why it is important to talk things over in a marriage because there might be two opposite mindsets about the same situation.

How do you draw the line in a home business that's going nowhere fast? How do you sell your skills when your own venture is failing? Who wants to hire a loser? In frustration and desperation you go back into your cave and hope to come up with a better gizmo, the killer gizmo that's going to make all this suffering worth the pain after all. What if that does not happen?

What if in this drawn-out struggle you also lose your accommodation? Have you known what it is like to move from place to place but not belonging anywhere? Have you slept in your car and shaved in the parenting restroom of a fast food restaurant? Have you kept in touch with your email lugging your laptop to recharge in a public library?

Have you lost the esteem of friends who don't know if they want to help you anymore because your situation is so protracted? Have you stared in dismay at all your belongings stacked up in a storage facility - not knowing whether you should sell it all or hang-on for a breakthrough?

I have gone through all that and since I do not have anybody to talk to I thought I'll give you the benefit of the experience by writing it down...

Some people advise me I should keep quiet about my circumstances because it will put off prospective employers. I reckon when the time comes I can sell my story and talk about my boot camp experience and how it made me a better person.

Don't have pity on me - your time will come too. I don't wish this on anybody but the fact of the matter is that we are descending into some troubled times ahead. Be prepared. In fact I don't know if you can ever prepare for this. You just have to handle it one day at a time.

Robert says:
Hi Bruno, Thanks so much for your courage. Well written Rob

Alexandra says:
I like the way this is written in such an honest way. I can relate to these experiences. It is comforting to know that Jesus has gone before us and there is no temptation that is sent to us that Jesus doesn't show us the way through!!!! God bless you my new friend! May you always rejoice in Jesus knowing He has won the VICTORY!!!!



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Bruno Deshayes

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